Saturday, May 17, 2008

Not Another Post on IPL!!!

As, I write this, the Corporate Juggernaut that is the Indian Premier League marches on surely but not so slowly. Lets face the facts, it is here to stay. And like the vast majority of the general public, this blog post will give a cold shoulder to our national sport and turn myopic to the fact that a motley crew of players, have against all odds reached the finals of the Sultan Azlan Trophy.

Hockey can never match the glitz and glamour of cricket. And now the IPL may well have sounded the deal knell for it. Even Kabir Khan has jumped ship from the Women's Hockey team to the Kolakata Knight Riders.

Speaking of whom, has anybody noticed how every time the Knight Riders get a boundary or take a wicket, King Khan does a near perfect impersonation of the Statue de la Liberté right down to the raised arm and a face that simply refuses to emote? Don't believe me eh? Check out these picture below:


If you are attentive enough, you can also hear the distinct crashing of finger cymbals every time SRK celebrates. For the uninitiated, finger cymbals are also known as Jaalra in Tamil.

Whereforth doth this soft strain of music emanate from you might wonder.....

A cursory glance to the person behind SRK, and you will notice the instrument being played by the perfectly manicured fingers of a certain Mr. Arjun Rampal, who coincidentally "acts" (Ahem!!!) in a whole lot of King Khans movies these days. Like I said, its just coincidence.

The IPL has seen its fair share of controversies also. First there was the Sreesanth, Bhajji slapgate. Apparently the Mumbai Indians team manager, Mr. Lalchand Rajput, former India assistant coach broke into peels of laughter after watching this episode play out right in front of his eyes.

Absolutely shocking!!! How? how? how?

How could anybody else not laugh after watching this is beyond me!!! I for one was laughing my ass off when I heard about that one. Couldnt have happened to a more deserving person!!!

Then there was the Ganguly - Warne spat, with the latter accusing Ganguly of lacking sportsmanship and integrity. Not one to take things lying down, Dada shot back, saying "Look who's talking. If you look at his career and the incidents he got in. It will give you the answer."

Strong words indeed. But before we give a pat on the back to our Bengal Tiger for a seemingly perfect riposte, lets just dust the old microscope and focus a little bit on Ganguly's career, shall we?

1. Dispute with Team Coach - Check

2. Taking off shirt and showing hairy countenance - Check

3. Performing poojas (and certain other things) with a particular actress, while wifey dear sits at home - Double Check.

Ah!, there you have it. No skeletons in the closet. Im glad we got that out of the way.

And finally, let me wind up by talking about the humiliation that the Bangalore Royal Challengers had to endure. Apparently, they were subjected to dope tests by WADA(World Anti Doping Agency) to test for the presence of performance enhancing drugs.

Here's my question. Why waste resources and money on running these tests? One look at the points table is proof aplenty that the Royal Challengers havent taken any drugs!! Nevertheless, the clearly enraged Bangalore team has vowed to carry on their mean losing streak to prove once and for all that they dont cheat. They lose fair and square!!!

Thats all that time that I have for this blog post. I gotta go open the innings for Pallavaram Power Dragons. See ya next year!!!


Anisha said...

Nice one da... funny... loved the comparison between SRK and the Statue of liberty... wish you would write more often...

Aravind Raghu said...

first anisha then me then anisha then me ...i get a feel of what you are coming to ..he he

Well The post was good i liked the dope test part he he...

Anonymous said...

Gud One Dude! Way2go

Pratima said...

good stuff da!
the khan story and the bit on dada was really nice!

Anonymous said...

hey u missed out 10ulkar arrogance after takin a catch( shane watson) . no one of us have seen him b4 in tht stature i guess!!!rest of the issues r fine in ur blog dude

Hormis said...

Hey nice write up Deepak....and it seems that you have learned a lot from IPL...namely the way you shamelessly promoted this post and your blog....but overall very impressive write up....(8.5/10) - your "critic" cousin

Nikhil Narayanan said...

nice read......

sorry was living under a rock for a long while.......

btw whts this ipl tournament you are talking about? ah the over hyped crickt thing which got over recently, aight?? the one tournament which some ricard branson wannabe lost his temper and told katrina kaif (the one the 10kadum anchor is banging right now), "excuse moi, bi***, i pay your likes and entertain your whims and facies so that you could act like you are atleast interested in the game,so get off my lap, and show some spirit and cheer for the fours and wickets....!!!...... "i said bi***, not to cheer for the team who is hitting sixes, cheer for the team in red who is panting like pansies on the field..!!!"

is it some sorta money making thing? can i invest some money in it? a friend of mine told me dat if i could predict which team will win, and i if put my money on it, ill get to make shit loada money...moreover if i make lotta money, ill be eligible to join a elite club where ill be able to do payoffs to the players so that they allow me to take part in a very interesting game (according to some chap called mohd.azharudin, who claims hes some ex-national captain) called match fixing....seems interesting. therefore i put all my money on Avram Grants team...oh shhticks!!!! thats the wrong game!!! no wonder.. :(

and wasnt this sharukh khan guy, the chap who acted in the old doordarshan serial called fauji (think he played an imp.role in Circus also)and then gradualy moved into movies? wat is he doing here? is he endorsing any team? is he constipated? (heard jelusil gives ya fast relief)

and the other bong chap you were talking about.... oh never mind. the moment i think of his name itself ill be wasting somebodys time and life fck him.

btw i do think the royally challenged team was on Dope... trust me... all had puffed up eyes, and were high fiving each other when the opposing team was smashing them for sixers. and moreover they had sunil joshi (WHO the fc*k?) on their team to lead the spin attack.... no need for more proof.

oh btw i like pallavaram power dragons.... :)
bet they'll be prebreakfast-appetizers to jolarpet jamaai XI.....! :P