Watch any of the channels on TV today and you are sure to catch the Max New York Life Insurance ad. Im sure you will agree with me that this is one of the most irritating ads on television today. Everytime I watch it, I want to scream my head off, but my vocal cords fail me miserably. My face freezes in agony and my mouth goes agape showing my nicely inflamed tonsils.
The concept as a whole seems sound enough. Young urban housewife, returns home after shopping, but cant find husband anywhere. Goes looking in every room, but still cant find him. Finally goes to the front porch and sees him slouched on the chair. Thinks the fat boy is as dead as a dodo. Turns out he's just Rip Van Winkle. We have a perfect case for a life insurance.
So what exactly is it about this ad, that induces so much grief and anguish across households?
Me thinks that the credit (if you could call it that) should go to the protagonist of this ad. Yes, im referring to the lady who looks like a bad cross between Michael Jackson and a Baboon. More specifically, it is the way she opens her mouth and shapes it into an obdurate 'O' and spouts the dreaded word: SANJU!!!! Good Lord, that nasally, sing song voice is bound to produce a sensory overload on your ear drums.
But never fear, after many days of painstaking analysis and research, I have come up with a solution that will make this ad more bearable. I am now about to share this information with you. Many lives will be saved and my close confidants tell me that I am sure to get the Bharat Ratna.
You will have to follow this complex, mathematical procedure. But trust me, at the end of it, it will be well and truly worth it.
1. Take the word Sanju.
2. Replace the 'S' with 'K'
3. Replace the 'a' with 'u'
4. Now, everytime this ad plays out on TV, shout out the newly formed word, Ku***
Thats what the fat prick deserves to be called anyway.